I have been doing a lot of research and writing, the results of which I post on my blog Please Listen. Until some scientific group decides they need to do research into the visual phenomena I am experiencing, I have gone about as far as I can go in understanding what is happening to me. I am still seeing a psychologist and he believes I have in fact become sensitized to light in the violet and near ultraviolet spectrum.
That is the same conclusion the neural ophthalmologist came to and he attributes it to mild ischemia in my brain stem from the procedure I had done to repair my trigeminial neuralgia. Both see no reason to pursue the experiences I am having as a result of the condition. The ophthalmologist does not accept what I see is external to my eyes and sees no need to pursue it further as there is no apparent health problem associated with the phenomena. If I did not have a pacemaker he would conduct an MRI but that option is off the table.The psychologist believes my eyes are responding to external stimuli but is concerned that my interpretations border on delusional though I show no other signs of delusional behavior.
I am scaling back my psychological sessions on his advice primarily for the same reasons I have no more scheduled eye exams, there is no danger to my health or the health of others.
As a result I decided to take a shot at hypnotic regression and suggestion. I picked one of the best in the field in my area and underwent a two hour session.
One of the things we learned about half way through was the light phenomena I am experiencing requires total darkness or it interferes with the process to the point hypnosis is not possible. I simply could not reach the state of mind needed in order to progress.
Once we covered my eyes, we started making progress. I did not know that you are consciously aware of your hypnotic state unless unless the hypnotist tells you to forget. I thought I was fully alert until the session ended and I tried to sit up rather abruptly. I have never been as disoriented as I was at that moment at any other time in my life. That includes coming out of sedation after surgery. After surgery you fade in and out but your lucid moments are obvious. That is not true coming out of hypnosis. Had it not been for the ending part I would never have realized I was in a hypnotic state.
I did not uncover anything that was of any significant value in my ongoing research, but it may have value later. I did discover a facet of my personality that I was not aware of that was placing too many expectations on people in general and I believe I am a better person now because of my session with a hypnotherapist.
Since my medical insurance does not cover hypnotherapy it is something I have to pursue carefully. If I had the discretionary funds I would definitely undergo more sessions. Under the circumstances, it will be awhile before I have another session. I have a lot of research to do and a lot of resources to look at along with writing down my thoughts and results. I'll wait until I find myself trapped in a corner if I ever do find myself trapped in a corner. There certainly is no danger of that currently.
My awareness of indigo light has reached a plateau for now and I have no new information in that regard. I continue to to have insights on any number of topics which accounts for the research and the writing. Any new events I will post to the blog.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Indigo light and meditation
I recently returned from a trip to Oklahoma. Normally when I fly I try and engage strangers in conversation. It helps the trip pass quicker and I think most of us have interesting lives and we all gain by listening to each others life experiences whether they are being expanded on or not.
On the return flight from Oklahoma, I ended up on a smaller jet with 2 seats on both sides of the aisle and no one to talk to. In addition there are no distractions like a movie and minimal services. My wife was sitting next to me but she was tired. It was a perfect opportunity to meditate and when I meditate I always experience indigo light.
What came as a total surprise was, the light I normally see with my eyes lightly closed was not coming from either side or above me, it was coming from below me and in all the months I have witnessed the phenomena, this was the first and only time I have seen the light below me. We were at 35000 feet. It stayed that way until we started to descend.
To explain what happened next, I need to explain how what I see sometimes presents itself. Normally the indigo light I see is disbursed from either the right, the left or above me. At higher altitudes it comes from below me. In addition, I see geometric images that typically start from an incident light source that is at a different light level than the ambient light in my current environment. The light source does not have to be overly bright. Everyone experiences this phenomena when they are subject to flash photography. You see a retained image when you close your eyes. I get the same effect from an image with contrast at low light levels. In normal vision, any retained image for most people would persist for less than a second. How long is a function of brightness.
When the aircraft dropped below 15000 feet (Im pretty good at judging distances in the air. I am a glider pilot) I was looking out the window of the seat directly in front of me. The shade was partially pulled and the light coming through the window had a rectangular shape. We were descending into Los Angeles from the east in early afternoon and the air was hazy (At least it is no longer orange). The light coming through the window was not bright. I closed my eyes and the shape of the window stayed in my vision and did not lose persistence. In fact it got brighter and the rectangle started to slowly tilt forward until it was about 30 degrees from vertical. The white light changed to indigo and it was the most intense indigo light I have seen since this phenomena started. If I graded what I normally see on a scale of 1 to 10 this was a 100. Not only was it intense it had dimension. It was like looking down a well of indigo light. Then the aura appeared. It was a thin very bright blue aura that had an intense white border. There were rays emanating from the image in all directions. If this wasn't strange enough I could see the rays but they were not visible. I don't know how else to describe it. As the plane descended, the image slowly drifted up and to the right until I could no longer see it.
By this time we were below 10000 feet and and I honestly did not know what it was I had just witnessed. After it had disappeared from my view I opened my eyes, handed my drink cup to the approaching attendant and I closed my eyes again. The indigo light I normally see was now above me.
I then had to endure the next 2 hours in the most antiquated major airport left in the world where one rides buses dodging airplanes to get from one terminal to the next. On the next leg of the flight from LA to Seattle., I did have someone to talk to but I did take the time to observe the indigo light was still below me at higher altitudes and above me under 10000 feet.
I have done a lot of reflection on the meaning of all that I saw on that flight. What I have concluded is our energy or spirit or whatever you want to call it exists withiin or close to the human society it is part of. Our guides or gateway or whatever you want to call them reside above the thickest part of our atmosphere. I can only speculate why but my knowledge of all that is energy, knows any energy transfer that can happen, happens easier in the thinner air of the upper atmosphere. If I am delusional, my delusions are far more predictable than any delusions I have ever read about.
On the return flight from Oklahoma, I ended up on a smaller jet with 2 seats on both sides of the aisle and no one to talk to. In addition there are no distractions like a movie and minimal services. My wife was sitting next to me but she was tired. It was a perfect opportunity to meditate and when I meditate I always experience indigo light.
What came as a total surprise was, the light I normally see with my eyes lightly closed was not coming from either side or above me, it was coming from below me and in all the months I have witnessed the phenomena, this was the first and only time I have seen the light below me. We were at 35000 feet. It stayed that way until we started to descend.
To explain what happened next, I need to explain how what I see sometimes presents itself. Normally the indigo light I see is disbursed from either the right, the left or above me. At higher altitudes it comes from below me. In addition, I see geometric images that typically start from an incident light source that is at a different light level than the ambient light in my current environment. The light source does not have to be overly bright. Everyone experiences this phenomena when they are subject to flash photography. You see a retained image when you close your eyes. I get the same effect from an image with contrast at low light levels. In normal vision, any retained image for most people would persist for less than a second. How long is a function of brightness.
When the aircraft dropped below 15000 feet (Im pretty good at judging distances in the air. I am a glider pilot) I was looking out the window of the seat directly in front of me. The shade was partially pulled and the light coming through the window had a rectangular shape. We were descending into Los Angeles from the east in early afternoon and the air was hazy (At least it is no longer orange). The light coming through the window was not bright. I closed my eyes and the shape of the window stayed in my vision and did not lose persistence. In fact it got brighter and the rectangle started to slowly tilt forward until it was about 30 degrees from vertical. The white light changed to indigo and it was the most intense indigo light I have seen since this phenomena started. If I graded what I normally see on a scale of 1 to 10 this was a 100. Not only was it intense it had dimension. It was like looking down a well of indigo light. Then the aura appeared. It was a thin very bright blue aura that had an intense white border. There were rays emanating from the image in all directions. If this wasn't strange enough I could see the rays but they were not visible. I don't know how else to describe it. As the plane descended, the image slowly drifted up and to the right until I could no longer see it.
By this time we were below 10000 feet and and I honestly did not know what it was I had just witnessed. After it had disappeared from my view I opened my eyes, handed my drink cup to the approaching attendant and I closed my eyes again. The indigo light I normally see was now above me.
I then had to endure the next 2 hours in the most antiquated major airport left in the world where one rides buses dodging airplanes to get from one terminal to the next. On the next leg of the flight from LA to Seattle., I did have someone to talk to but I did take the time to observe the indigo light was still below me at higher altitudes and above me under 10000 feet.
I have done a lot of reflection on the meaning of all that I saw on that flight. What I have concluded is our energy or spirit or whatever you want to call it exists withiin or close to the human society it is part of. Our guides or gateway or whatever you want to call them reside above the thickest part of our atmosphere. I can only speculate why but my knowledge of all that is energy, knows any energy transfer that can happen, happens easier in the thinner air of the upper atmosphere. If I am delusional, my delusions are far more predictable than any delusions I have ever read about.
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