If what I am experiencing is hallucinatory and delusional I had no idea hallucinations could be so organized and well planned especially when I had no prior thoughts or concepts of what I was going to witness and think. Take my most recent realization. The phenomena I am about to describe took place over a period of 78 days. It wasn't until the last event, which I witnessed today, I realized what I have been seeing.
The phenomena is divided into three distinct events. The first happened on or about the 29th of May at midday. The second happened on the 6th of July at 3:00pm and the third happened on the 14th of August at midday. All times are PDT and the year is 2011. All happened while I was resting. The first and the last happened shortly after waking. I am a late sleeper. The second happened while I was flying between Oklahoma City and Los Angeles. I do not believe I will ever see any of these events again. The realization of what I was seeing did not happen until shortly after the last event earlier today.
As in the vision I had regarding the origin of the universe and our purpose in it, it is geometrical and those with advanced mathematical skills should be able to interpret more information than I can. I have asked those that have the skills to analyze the information I was given regarding the universe which can be found in my blog "Please Listen" under "The Message". To date, I have heard from no one.
I believe what I have seen is the journey mankind is on. The first image is the end of the journey. The second vision is our current location in the journey and the third image is the start of the journey. Each point is a different image with its own unique shape except the shape of the end of the journey is nebulous. I have pondered how to present this and I think the best is to talk about each image independently followed by the geometrical layout of the images in relationship to one another. I do not understand the significance of the shape the three events have taken other than the undefined shape of the end of the journey.
Time wise the first image lasted no more than 5 seconds. The second image lasted for 45 seconds to a minute. The third image was less than 2 seconds. Since the images were presented to me in reverse order I feel I need to discuss them in reverse order. We start at the end of the journey.
Even though the image for the end of the journey is nebulous it does have a few characteristics. It is either a triangle or an arc shaped like a comma on its side with the small end of the comma or triangle pointed to either the right or the left. There is a slope of 5-7 degrees with the lower point to the left. The distance from the low point to the high point is constant regardless of shape. The light particles inside the image were multicolored distinct points of light embedded in very bright light with no motion I could see. There were like grains of sand on a beach.
The image wasn't what struck me it was the sense of belonging and peace that overwhelmed me. If you take every joyous event in your life and magnified it a hundredfold it still could not explain the feelings that overcame me as I witnessed this image. I did not want to let go of the image but it disappeared instantly after the few seconds I was graced with its presence. There is no place I would rather be then there. I felt like a child who had his candy taken away when it disappeared. Of the three images I have seen this one was the furthest away.
I was lying peacefully in bed and was no where dying and I do not feel I was out of body. I have never had the experience. I was observing indigo light but that is routine for me. I instantly knew what it was. I have read near death accounts and I can totally relate to the emotions expressed by those who have had them. I have no explanation for why I saw it in the form I did. My intuition tells me it has something to do with the shapes of the other two images I have seen but I don't have the skills to connect the dots.
The second image happened while flying. I believe it is our current position in our journey and it had a very distinct oval shape with a 30 degree lean to the right. The slope of the image associated with the end of the journey was also left to right with the lower point to the left. Inside the oval was the most intense indigo light I have seen and it was swirling. I had the distinct feeling I was looking into infinity when I focused on the light inside the image. Surrounding the image was a very intense thin blue aura. It was spectacular image which I had no emotional connection to. It was like looking out at a scenic vista and seeing a UFO. This image is the one that tells me this isn't just my journey, it is our species journey. The strange part was infinity was perpendicular to the direction of our journey. I have no idea why. This image lasted the longest and may have been more than a minute. As I witnessed this image I thought it was a portal or gateway and I did not connect it to the first image. The connection became obvious after the last image witnessed today. This image was the closest to me of the three I have seen.
The image I saw today happened at about the same time and under the same circumstances the first image did. I was awake and lying in bed. Like the first image the period before I started seeing indigo light was longer than normal. In both cases I wondered if my experiencing indigo light had come to an end. Normally the phenomena occurs within the first two minutes of a wakeful state. More than 5 minutes had elapsed. I have come to look upon my indigo light as a warm comforter. I have no problems when I see it.
This image was above me and a little behind me. It was in the shape of a parallelogram with the longer side pointing forward and sloped downward at 5-7 degrees. It is the biggest of the images I have seen. Visualize a flag over and slightly behind you laid out horizontally. The surface of the flag looked like bubble wrap. Inside each bubble were the same multicolored lights I saw in the first image except they were not focused. I do not know if they were moving as I did not see this image for very long. My mind or body or both would not have held up had I seen it for any longer. It was simply overwhelming. No pain but a feeling of total annihilation if I had seen it for any longer than I did. I have never been happier to see anything go away as that image. I get uncomfortable writing about it. This sounds crazy but I believe I can now relate to the big bang that kick started our universe. I was looking at total instability or chaos.
There is a geometrical construct to all three images in relationship to one another which I need to explain for those who want to decipher what I have seen. If math isn't your thing you may want to go do something else else instead of reading the following. Since I am the one who witnessed the phenomena I have to outline the relationships so others can study them if they want to.
Let's assume the horizontal center line of our eyes is the base point for drawing a perpendicular in the direction you are looking. The assumption is your eyes are looking as straight ahead as they can. This perpendicular is the zero line (horizontal axis) and extends through your head. From the zero line we construct another perpendicular at the center of your head. This is the vertical axis and your head is clamped in a vise. Your head now becomes non significant (in mathematical computation).
From the zero point project a line along the horizontal axis at a 5-7 degree angle. This will be the furthest point from zero in the upcoming triangle. From the zero point project a line along the vertical axis at 10-15 degrees minus horizontal at a vertical point to be determined by the sight line to image two. Here is where the math will require variables.
From the zero point project a line at 30 degrees along the horizontal axis. Somewhere along this line is image two. The shapes of the three images define where. Image two is the closest to zero. The shapes of images two and three are constant. The shape of image one is variable as defined by either arc or straight line. The horizontal line is a function of time. That is all the information I have.
If you can solve this you will know how far our species is into our journey and how much more time we have until the journey is done depending on the variables that shape the end of the journey.
I did not know what message I was being given until this morning. After the last image I was able to quickly connect all the dots and sat down and wrote this. If you are satisfied this is a delusion than do nothing. If you find that concept as hard to grasp as I do then do the math or find someone who can.
If I get any more information I will update this post.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Regression and introspection
I have been doing a lot of research and writing, the results of which I post on my blog Please Listen. Until some scientific group decides they need to do research into the visual phenomena I am experiencing, I have gone about as far as I can go in understanding what is happening to me. I am still seeing a psychologist and he believes I have in fact become sensitized to light in the violet and near ultraviolet spectrum.
That is the same conclusion the neural ophthalmologist came to and he attributes it to mild ischemia in my brain stem from the procedure I had done to repair my trigeminial neuralgia. Both see no reason to pursue the experiences I am having as a result of the condition. The ophthalmologist does not accept what I see is external to my eyes and sees no need to pursue it further as there is no apparent health problem associated with the phenomena. If I did not have a pacemaker he would conduct an MRI but that option is off the table.The psychologist believes my eyes are responding to external stimuli but is concerned that my interpretations border on delusional though I show no other signs of delusional behavior.
I am scaling back my psychological sessions on his advice primarily for the same reasons I have no more scheduled eye exams, there is no danger to my health or the health of others.
As a result I decided to take a shot at hypnotic regression and suggestion. I picked one of the best in the field in my area and underwent a two hour session.
One of the things we learned about half way through was the light phenomena I am experiencing requires total darkness or it interferes with the process to the point hypnosis is not possible. I simply could not reach the state of mind needed in order to progress.
Once we covered my eyes, we started making progress. I did not know that you are consciously aware of your hypnotic state unless unless the hypnotist tells you to forget. I thought I was fully alert until the session ended and I tried to sit up rather abruptly. I have never been as disoriented as I was at that moment at any other time in my life. That includes coming out of sedation after surgery. After surgery you fade in and out but your lucid moments are obvious. That is not true coming out of hypnosis. Had it not been for the ending part I would never have realized I was in a hypnotic state.
I did not uncover anything that was of any significant value in my ongoing research, but it may have value later. I did discover a facet of my personality that I was not aware of that was placing too many expectations on people in general and I believe I am a better person now because of my session with a hypnotherapist.
Since my medical insurance does not cover hypnotherapy it is something I have to pursue carefully. If I had the discretionary funds I would definitely undergo more sessions. Under the circumstances, it will be awhile before I have another session. I have a lot of research to do and a lot of resources to look at along with writing down my thoughts and results. I'll wait until I find myself trapped in a corner if I ever do find myself trapped in a corner. There certainly is no danger of that currently.
My awareness of indigo light has reached a plateau for now and I have no new information in that regard. I continue to to have insights on any number of topics which accounts for the research and the writing. Any new events I will post to the blog.
That is the same conclusion the neural ophthalmologist came to and he attributes it to mild ischemia in my brain stem from the procedure I had done to repair my trigeminial neuralgia. Both see no reason to pursue the experiences I am having as a result of the condition. The ophthalmologist does not accept what I see is external to my eyes and sees no need to pursue it further as there is no apparent health problem associated with the phenomena. If I did not have a pacemaker he would conduct an MRI but that option is off the table.The psychologist believes my eyes are responding to external stimuli but is concerned that my interpretations border on delusional though I show no other signs of delusional behavior.
I am scaling back my psychological sessions on his advice primarily for the same reasons I have no more scheduled eye exams, there is no danger to my health or the health of others.
As a result I decided to take a shot at hypnotic regression and suggestion. I picked one of the best in the field in my area and underwent a two hour session.
One of the things we learned about half way through was the light phenomena I am experiencing requires total darkness or it interferes with the process to the point hypnosis is not possible. I simply could not reach the state of mind needed in order to progress.
Once we covered my eyes, we started making progress. I did not know that you are consciously aware of your hypnotic state unless unless the hypnotist tells you to forget. I thought I was fully alert until the session ended and I tried to sit up rather abruptly. I have never been as disoriented as I was at that moment at any other time in my life. That includes coming out of sedation after surgery. After surgery you fade in and out but your lucid moments are obvious. That is not true coming out of hypnosis. Had it not been for the ending part I would never have realized I was in a hypnotic state.
I did not uncover anything that was of any significant value in my ongoing research, but it may have value later. I did discover a facet of my personality that I was not aware of that was placing too many expectations on people in general and I believe I am a better person now because of my session with a hypnotherapist.
Since my medical insurance does not cover hypnotherapy it is something I have to pursue carefully. If I had the discretionary funds I would definitely undergo more sessions. Under the circumstances, it will be awhile before I have another session. I have a lot of research to do and a lot of resources to look at along with writing down my thoughts and results. I'll wait until I find myself trapped in a corner if I ever do find myself trapped in a corner. There certainly is no danger of that currently.
My awareness of indigo light has reached a plateau for now and I have no new information in that regard. I continue to to have insights on any number of topics which accounts for the research and the writing. Any new events I will post to the blog.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Indigo light and meditation
I recently returned from a trip to Oklahoma. Normally when I fly I try and engage strangers in conversation. It helps the trip pass quicker and I think most of us have interesting lives and we all gain by listening to each others life experiences whether they are being expanded on or not.
On the return flight from Oklahoma, I ended up on a smaller jet with 2 seats on both sides of the aisle and no one to talk to. In addition there are no distractions like a movie and minimal services. My wife was sitting next to me but she was tired. It was a perfect opportunity to meditate and when I meditate I always experience indigo light.
What came as a total surprise was, the light I normally see with my eyes lightly closed was not coming from either side or above me, it was coming from below me and in all the months I have witnessed the phenomena, this was the first and only time I have seen the light below me. We were at 35000 feet. It stayed that way until we started to descend.
To explain what happened next, I need to explain how what I see sometimes presents itself. Normally the indigo light I see is disbursed from either the right, the left or above me. At higher altitudes it comes from below me. In addition, I see geometric images that typically start from an incident light source that is at a different light level than the ambient light in my current environment. The light source does not have to be overly bright. Everyone experiences this phenomena when they are subject to flash photography. You see a retained image when you close your eyes. I get the same effect from an image with contrast at low light levels. In normal vision, any retained image for most people would persist for less than a second. How long is a function of brightness.
When the aircraft dropped below 15000 feet (Im pretty good at judging distances in the air. I am a glider pilot) I was looking out the window of the seat directly in front of me. The shade was partially pulled and the light coming through the window had a rectangular shape. We were descending into Los Angeles from the east in early afternoon and the air was hazy (At least it is no longer orange). The light coming through the window was not bright. I closed my eyes and the shape of the window stayed in my vision and did not lose persistence. In fact it got brighter and the rectangle started to slowly tilt forward until it was about 30 degrees from vertical. The white light changed to indigo and it was the most intense indigo light I have seen since this phenomena started. If I graded what I normally see on a scale of 1 to 10 this was a 100. Not only was it intense it had dimension. It was like looking down a well of indigo light. Then the aura appeared. It was a thin very bright blue aura that had an intense white border. There were rays emanating from the image in all directions. If this wasn't strange enough I could see the rays but they were not visible. I don't know how else to describe it. As the plane descended, the image slowly drifted up and to the right until I could no longer see it.
By this time we were below 10000 feet and and I honestly did not know what it was I had just witnessed. After it had disappeared from my view I opened my eyes, handed my drink cup to the approaching attendant and I closed my eyes again. The indigo light I normally see was now above me.
I then had to endure the next 2 hours in the most antiquated major airport left in the world where one rides buses dodging airplanes to get from one terminal to the next. On the next leg of the flight from LA to Seattle., I did have someone to talk to but I did take the time to observe the indigo light was still below me at higher altitudes and above me under 10000 feet.
I have done a lot of reflection on the meaning of all that I saw on that flight. What I have concluded is our energy or spirit or whatever you want to call it exists withiin or close to the human society it is part of. Our guides or gateway or whatever you want to call them reside above the thickest part of our atmosphere. I can only speculate why but my knowledge of all that is energy, knows any energy transfer that can happen, happens easier in the thinner air of the upper atmosphere. If I am delusional, my delusions are far more predictable than any delusions I have ever read about.
On the return flight from Oklahoma, I ended up on a smaller jet with 2 seats on both sides of the aisle and no one to talk to. In addition there are no distractions like a movie and minimal services. My wife was sitting next to me but she was tired. It was a perfect opportunity to meditate and when I meditate I always experience indigo light.
What came as a total surprise was, the light I normally see with my eyes lightly closed was not coming from either side or above me, it was coming from below me and in all the months I have witnessed the phenomena, this was the first and only time I have seen the light below me. We were at 35000 feet. It stayed that way until we started to descend.
To explain what happened next, I need to explain how what I see sometimes presents itself. Normally the indigo light I see is disbursed from either the right, the left or above me. At higher altitudes it comes from below me. In addition, I see geometric images that typically start from an incident light source that is at a different light level than the ambient light in my current environment. The light source does not have to be overly bright. Everyone experiences this phenomena when they are subject to flash photography. You see a retained image when you close your eyes. I get the same effect from an image with contrast at low light levels. In normal vision, any retained image for most people would persist for less than a second. How long is a function of brightness.
When the aircraft dropped below 15000 feet (Im pretty good at judging distances in the air. I am a glider pilot) I was looking out the window of the seat directly in front of me. The shade was partially pulled and the light coming through the window had a rectangular shape. We were descending into Los Angeles from the east in early afternoon and the air was hazy (At least it is no longer orange). The light coming through the window was not bright. I closed my eyes and the shape of the window stayed in my vision and did not lose persistence. In fact it got brighter and the rectangle started to slowly tilt forward until it was about 30 degrees from vertical. The white light changed to indigo and it was the most intense indigo light I have seen since this phenomena started. If I graded what I normally see on a scale of 1 to 10 this was a 100. Not only was it intense it had dimension. It was like looking down a well of indigo light. Then the aura appeared. It was a thin very bright blue aura that had an intense white border. There were rays emanating from the image in all directions. If this wasn't strange enough I could see the rays but they were not visible. I don't know how else to describe it. As the plane descended, the image slowly drifted up and to the right until I could no longer see it.
By this time we were below 10000 feet and and I honestly did not know what it was I had just witnessed. After it had disappeared from my view I opened my eyes, handed my drink cup to the approaching attendant and I closed my eyes again. The indigo light I normally see was now above me.
I then had to endure the next 2 hours in the most antiquated major airport left in the world where one rides buses dodging airplanes to get from one terminal to the next. On the next leg of the flight from LA to Seattle., I did have someone to talk to but I did take the time to observe the indigo light was still below me at higher altitudes and above me under 10000 feet.
I have done a lot of reflection on the meaning of all that I saw on that flight. What I have concluded is our energy or spirit or whatever you want to call it exists withiin or close to the human society it is part of. Our guides or gateway or whatever you want to call them reside above the thickest part of our atmosphere. I can only speculate why but my knowledge of all that is energy, knows any energy transfer that can happen, happens easier in the thinner air of the upper atmosphere. If I am delusional, my delusions are far more predictable than any delusions I have ever read about.
Monday, June 20, 2011
It's all in the brain stem
I just spent the morning consulting with a Neural Ophthalmologist and I believe the pieces of the puzzle are taking shape. I did not discuss the spiritual aspect of the phenomena in order to avoid being misdiagnosed as a mental patient. It turns out I was overly concerned because trauma to the brain stem does result in hallucinations depending on where the ischemia lies. For those who don't know what ischemia is, it is the term that defines restricted blood flow which is basically the only form of trauma that can exist in the brain stem without causing major medical problems. Even then it cannot be a serious restriction.
In November of 2010 I underwent a balloon ablation of the right trigeminial nerve junction which is located in the brain stem. It involves running a needle into the brain stem and inflating a small balloon in order to compress the nerve bundle. Sounds terrible but it is a fairly common procedure that is done more frequently using a gamma knife. For whatever reason I chose the balloon ablation and it worked. It cured my trigeminial neuralgia which is one of the most painful afflictions a person can experience. I dealt with it for two years trying medications, meditation and acupuncture.
There was ischemia to the nerves that controls the eyes. That was made evident by the fact I had to start wearing prismatic lenses shortly after the surgery when I read or was writing as i would have double vision for up to an hour afterwards when I did. The muscles controlling my eyes weren't weakened but the neural pathway that relates the control of the muscles to the vision the eyes is processing was traumatized. They cannot totally corroborate this because they cannot do an MRI on me since I have a pacemaker due to the fact I damaged my heart nerves in a skiing accident years ago.
In order to understand what is happening to me I have to explain a little bit on how the brain stem functions. Our senses take two paths through the brain stem. Actually there are more than two but it is easier to explain if we look at them as just two. Our senses have two functions. The first is to communicate to the conscious mind so you can relate to the sounds, sight, touch, taste and smells around you and make conscious decisions from any event. The second is to coordinate all the things involved with responding to the information the conscious mind is getting, It's how you pick up your morning coffee and every other activity your body does, There is no conscious thought involved, They use different nerve paths to keep it all straight, No doubt any neurologist reading this is rolling their eyes but it is the easiest way I can explain it. The Neural Opthamologist knows which path is damaged because we don't think about controlling our eye muscles when we change our focal distance.
That explains my double vision. My sensitivity to indigo light is not as easily explained. The phenomena I am experiencing has happened in other people and I would absolutely love to talk to anyone who has experienced it. In cases like mine, they can only speculate This becomes another one of those things that science can't explain and I believe never will until they recognize there are energies in our universe they refuse to take a serious look at because of the religious and spiritual nature one has to consider to do so,
In my case it looks like all the damage was done to the visual nerves that work in conjunction with all our senses. The Doctor believes that because of the problem I have controlling my focus and the fact that I do not see hallucinations which is common in cases where the nerve bundle that ties to the visual cortex is affected. The human eyes perceive color in low light conditions due to a complicated process that involves both the rods and the cones but it is automatic. You can not think you will see pink and see it. but you can consciously focus on pink if it is present. All that changes if you are dreaming or taking drugs or alcohol.
Here is where the Doctors and I part ways. All the Doctors I have talked to simply refuse to believe what I see is spatial. By that I mean I can see it and turn away from it and not see it. They do not believe I am experiencing this because, in their mind, that is not possible. I have asked them to run experiments to prove it and none has taken the bait so until I can do my own research, or get someone in research interested, we are at a stalemate.
They have no explanation regarding why I see violet light, I believe that the ischemia to my integrated vision has sensitized my eyes to light in the near ultraviolet and violet range. I have conducted ny own experiments to verify this. One I posted to this blog. Birds see blue light which allows them to navigate so a unique color sensitivity is common in certain species.
I further believe that the energy that was once part of a physical human entity has a wavelength in the indigo range and my vision has awakened my spiritual component. Since my visual cortex has not responded to my spiritual awakening, I get no sense of being from spiritual awareness. I do not see ghosts nor do I communicate with spirits though I know others who have been spirituality awakened do. Because my two visual paths are disconnected from one another and I am only spiritually connected via my subconscious and integration bundle, I do not have to process the presence or awareness of spiritual or energy beings in my conscious mind.
Something akin to a miracle has happened as a result of only one of my nerve pathways being spiritually activated .The following hypothesis is a result of that injury. I believe the reason our spirits continue on and conjoin with a new physical body is to pass on ability and knowledge from one generation to the next. I call it mental evolution. Everything I am learning I am writing down in the blog I call Please Listen.
The above realization struck me as I was sitting in the Doctors office waiting for my eyes to dilate. It may be awhile before I make another post to this blog but I am working on some things which I plan to keep this blog up to date on. The visual chapter is now closed until I can start doing experiments to further understand this phenomena and all that it entails.
In November of 2010 I underwent a balloon ablation of the right trigeminial nerve junction which is located in the brain stem. It involves running a needle into the brain stem and inflating a small balloon in order to compress the nerve bundle. Sounds terrible but it is a fairly common procedure that is done more frequently using a gamma knife. For whatever reason I chose the balloon ablation and it worked. It cured my trigeminial neuralgia which is one of the most painful afflictions a person can experience. I dealt with it for two years trying medications, meditation and acupuncture.
There was ischemia to the nerves that controls the eyes. That was made evident by the fact I had to start wearing prismatic lenses shortly after the surgery when I read or was writing as i would have double vision for up to an hour afterwards when I did. The muscles controlling my eyes weren't weakened but the neural pathway that relates the control of the muscles to the vision the eyes is processing was traumatized. They cannot totally corroborate this because they cannot do an MRI on me since I have a pacemaker due to the fact I damaged my heart nerves in a skiing accident years ago.
In order to understand what is happening to me I have to explain a little bit on how the brain stem functions. Our senses take two paths through the brain stem. Actually there are more than two but it is easier to explain if we look at them as just two. Our senses have two functions. The first is to communicate to the conscious mind so you can relate to the sounds, sight, touch, taste and smells around you and make conscious decisions from any event. The second is to coordinate all the things involved with responding to the information the conscious mind is getting, It's how you pick up your morning coffee and every other activity your body does, There is no conscious thought involved, They use different nerve paths to keep it all straight, No doubt any neurologist reading this is rolling their eyes but it is the easiest way I can explain it. The Neural Opthamologist knows which path is damaged because we don't think about controlling our eye muscles when we change our focal distance.
That explains my double vision. My sensitivity to indigo light is not as easily explained. The phenomena I am experiencing has happened in other people and I would absolutely love to talk to anyone who has experienced it. In cases like mine, they can only speculate This becomes another one of those things that science can't explain and I believe never will until they recognize there are energies in our universe they refuse to take a serious look at because of the religious and spiritual nature one has to consider to do so,
In my case it looks like all the damage was done to the visual nerves that work in conjunction with all our senses. The Doctor believes that because of the problem I have controlling my focus and the fact that I do not see hallucinations which is common in cases where the nerve bundle that ties to the visual cortex is affected. The human eyes perceive color in low light conditions due to a complicated process that involves both the rods and the cones but it is automatic. You can not think you will see pink and see it. but you can consciously focus on pink if it is present. All that changes if you are dreaming or taking drugs or alcohol.
Here is where the Doctors and I part ways. All the Doctors I have talked to simply refuse to believe what I see is spatial. By that I mean I can see it and turn away from it and not see it. They do not believe I am experiencing this because, in their mind, that is not possible. I have asked them to run experiments to prove it and none has taken the bait so until I can do my own research, or get someone in research interested, we are at a stalemate.
They have no explanation regarding why I see violet light, I believe that the ischemia to my integrated vision has sensitized my eyes to light in the near ultraviolet and violet range. I have conducted ny own experiments to verify this. One I posted to this blog. Birds see blue light which allows them to navigate so a unique color sensitivity is common in certain species.
I further believe that the energy that was once part of a physical human entity has a wavelength in the indigo range and my vision has awakened my spiritual component. Since my visual cortex has not responded to my spiritual awakening, I get no sense of being from spiritual awareness. I do not see ghosts nor do I communicate with spirits though I know others who have been spirituality awakened do. Because my two visual paths are disconnected from one another and I am only spiritually connected via my subconscious and integration bundle, I do not have to process the presence or awareness of spiritual or energy beings in my conscious mind.
Something akin to a miracle has happened as a result of only one of my nerve pathways being spiritually activated .The following hypothesis is a result of that injury. I believe the reason our spirits continue on and conjoin with a new physical body is to pass on ability and knowledge from one generation to the next. I call it mental evolution. Everything I am learning I am writing down in the blog I call Please Listen.
The above realization struck me as I was sitting in the Doctors office waiting for my eyes to dilate. It may be awhile before I make another post to this blog but I am working on some things which I plan to keep this blog up to date on. The visual chapter is now closed until I can start doing experiments to further understand this phenomena and all that it entails.
Onward and Upward
(originally posted 6/08/2011 had to correct history of post)
I just had a second visit with the Ophthalmologist and he is sending me to a Neural Ophthalmologist so no medical answers yet why I am experiencing indigo light/energy in my eyes. I am getting medical science involved whether they want to be or not. it will be at least a month before I can be seen .
In the meantime, I basically see indigo energy when I have my eyes lightly closed anytime. It can have direction and it can fill most of my visual field but it appears in circular form at its most intense. I do see other geometric shapes but I believe they are caused by the angle of the light source to the rods in my eyes. In all cases, I can turn away from the light source and the light is gone except when it appears to come from above my head.
If I start to think too much, I no longer see the light and when it is at it's most intense I basically cannot think at all and have established a behavioral response pattern in an effort to identify any source for the light.
On occasion I do see indigo light emanate from or around an electromagnetic device but days may pass between observations. All the writing I have done in my new blog, "Please Listen!", I attribute to the information I am getting that is encoded on the energy I am experiencing. If I am crazy then every college student out there needs to be crazy because I simply know things about subjects I have never studied in my life. Genetics is one of those subjects and a lot of the message I am getting is all about genetics in specific detail.
I am getting a lot of mathematical constructs and I do know math but suddenly realizing there are states to non congruency is something I have never been taught and it is beyond my math abilities to pursue. I hope those with advanced trainings in mathematics and physics take the time to mull over what I have written in the above blog.
Even if medical science finds a cause for my sensitivity to energy in the indigo range that does not explain the knowledge I am acquiring nor does it explain why I feel compelled to write it all down and get it out there. I admit this all could be a product of delusion and I am actively pursuing treatment just in case it all is but that still does not explain the knowledge I have gained.
If anyone can say the knowledge I am getting is false beyond any shadow of doubt please let me know because I have no such reservations. My goal is to reach those that have advanced training in all the fields I mention and hopefully get them to pay attention to the message. Ideally they will be indigo and they can figure out the parts specific to their knowledge and bring that knowledge to bear. I do not have the credentials to pursue most of it beyond mentioning it and how I came to be aware of it.
I do plan to administer to my fellow indigos who are still finding themselves but I do not have a license to practice medicine so all I can do is tell them what I am experiencing and, if possible, help them attune to the energy being directed at us specifically. The message is the same for every advanced life form in the universe. The method of delivery may vary. and it may not but we are attuned to our specific energy. We are indigos. We are the messengers.
I do have a question. Who do we have to talk to to get spellcheckers to list indigo as a noun so I can figure out a plural that doesn't get red lined? (right after I asked this my spellchecker stopped red lining the plurals). That I find spooky. I give up. Now the spellchecker is red lining the plurals.
I just had a second visit with the Ophthalmologist and he is sending me to a Neural Ophthalmologist so no medical answers yet why I am experiencing indigo light/energy in my eyes. I am getting medical science involved whether they want to be or not. it will be at least a month before I can be seen .
In the meantime, I basically see indigo energy when I have my eyes lightly closed anytime. It can have direction and it can fill most of my visual field but it appears in circular form at its most intense. I do see other geometric shapes but I believe they are caused by the angle of the light source to the rods in my eyes. In all cases, I can turn away from the light source and the light is gone except when it appears to come from above my head.
If I start to think too much, I no longer see the light and when it is at it's most intense I basically cannot think at all and have established a behavioral response pattern in an effort to identify any source for the light.
On occasion I do see indigo light emanate from or around an electromagnetic device but days may pass between observations. All the writing I have done in my new blog, "Please Listen!", I attribute to the information I am getting that is encoded on the energy I am experiencing. If I am crazy then every college student out there needs to be crazy because I simply know things about subjects I have never studied in my life. Genetics is one of those subjects and a lot of the message I am getting is all about genetics in specific detail.
I am getting a lot of mathematical constructs and I do know math but suddenly realizing there are states to non congruency is something I have never been taught and it is beyond my math abilities to pursue. I hope those with advanced trainings in mathematics and physics take the time to mull over what I have written in the above blog.
Even if medical science finds a cause for my sensitivity to energy in the indigo range that does not explain the knowledge I am acquiring nor does it explain why I feel compelled to write it all down and get it out there. I admit this all could be a product of delusion and I am actively pursuing treatment just in case it all is but that still does not explain the knowledge I have gained.
If anyone can say the knowledge I am getting is false beyond any shadow of doubt please let me know because I have no such reservations. My goal is to reach those that have advanced training in all the fields I mention and hopefully get them to pay attention to the message. Ideally they will be indigo and they can figure out the parts specific to their knowledge and bring that knowledge to bear. I do not have the credentials to pursue most of it beyond mentioning it and how I came to be aware of it.
I do plan to administer to my fellow indigos who are still finding themselves but I do not have a license to practice medicine so all I can do is tell them what I am experiencing and, if possible, help them attune to the energy being directed at us specifically. The message is the same for every advanced life form in the universe. The method of delivery may vary. and it may not but we are attuned to our specific energy. We are indigos. We are the messengers.
I do have a question. Who do we have to talk to to get spellcheckers to list indigo as a noun so I can figure out a plural that doesn't get red lined? (right after I asked this my spellchecker stopped red lining the plurals). That I find spooky. I give up. Now the spellchecker is red lining the plurals.
I am an Indigo
(Originally posted 05/27/2011 had to correct history of post)
This has been quite a week. Yesterday I had my eye appointment and the Ophthalmologist believes I am experiencing electrical energy phenomena in my visual field. I couldn't agree more but we part ways on the source of this energy I am experiencing. He simply doesn't believe what I am seeing is external to my body. He did not come out and directly say so but I could tell he was not willing to consider anything external as a possibility even after I described how the phenomena I am experiencing is usual spatial in nature. It does not track with my eyes. There is a source I turn away from and turn back to. When the majority of my visual field is impacted that becomes difficult to do but there are events where what I see only involves 15-20% of my visual field. We shall see (no pun intended) as his diagnosis continues. He had me undergo blood tests and I have a follow on appointment on the 6th of June.
The big discovery of the week was a result of my research into reincarnation. I was looking for incidents of past life recall among children that are considered to be normal whatever that is and came across information regarding indigo children. Believe it or not this is the first time in my life I had heard about children whose parents believed were possessed of special abilities. I have spent the last three days getting my hands on information and watching many video clips that claim the child featured is an indigo or crystalline child.
What I have seen convinces me there is a real phenomena at play here. Some are very spiritual in nature. I say that as a Deist and, for the moment, I am still one. There is something else I am. I am an indigo. The story of these children is the story of my life. There is also a connection I instantly make I have no obvious explanation for. The children that are indigo are members of my family in a way that supersedes my relationship with my own children and I have not met one of these children. I realize that makes no sense but I know it doesn't have to. If you don't have a clue what I am talking about you are not an indigo.
That DOES NOT make us special. all that means is we have evolved first. Someone had to. Hell for all I know I may be the first as most of these people are a lot younger than I am but that doesn't matter because it isn't about me, it is about our species. Every person on this planet is going to evolve. If they don't in this life they will in one of their next ones. It appears the change is happening very rapidly so no one is going to going to have to wait very long but we need to conduct a lot more research into the phenomena.
There are more and more of these children being born and unfortunately not all of them are making a complete conversion. Such is the nature of adaptation in a species. The ones that emerge with amazing talents quickly get recognized and are handled properly as they expand their talents. The rest are seen as rebellious. They will not conform to their parents religious beliefs or social structure and those who are born to parents with means will seek treatment for their child in order to help him or her conform to the norm. That treatment almost always includes mind altering substances like Ritalin. Here is where I get both sides angry with me. Some of these children need help or their lives will become very difficult. Others, the worst thing you could do to them is give them mind altering drugs. Those of you who are not indigo simply do not know how to handle these children and there are not enough of us who are who are trained to do the job. I do not have the skills or training to work with these children but I and my fellow Indigos' can connect with them in ways non-indigo people cannot.
We need to work together until the day there are enough indigo's who have attained the skills needed to counsel these children that are evolving to the next stage. This evolution in our species is starting to happen and the transition period will be difficult, but we can make the process a lot easier by not tagging children as being one or the other and trying to force them to conform when they are genetically programmed to be different. The trick will be separating those who have mental conditions from those that don't but I believe we can do that if all those who find themselves raising a child who is struggling conforming to life keep an open mind.
This has been quite a week. Yesterday I had my eye appointment and the Ophthalmologist believes I am experiencing electrical energy phenomena in my visual field. I couldn't agree more but we part ways on the source of this energy I am experiencing. He simply doesn't believe what I am seeing is external to my body. He did not come out and directly say so but I could tell he was not willing to consider anything external as a possibility even after I described how the phenomena I am experiencing is usual spatial in nature. It does not track with my eyes. There is a source I turn away from and turn back to. When the majority of my visual field is impacted that becomes difficult to do but there are events where what I see only involves 15-20% of my visual field. We shall see (no pun intended) as his diagnosis continues. He had me undergo blood tests and I have a follow on appointment on the 6th of June.
The big discovery of the week was a result of my research into reincarnation. I was looking for incidents of past life recall among children that are considered to be normal whatever that is and came across information regarding indigo children. Believe it or not this is the first time in my life I had heard about children whose parents believed were possessed of special abilities. I have spent the last three days getting my hands on information and watching many video clips that claim the child featured is an indigo or crystalline child.
What I have seen convinces me there is a real phenomena at play here. Some are very spiritual in nature. I say that as a Deist and, for the moment, I am still one. There is something else I am. I am an indigo. The story of these children is the story of my life. There is also a connection I instantly make I have no obvious explanation for. The children that are indigo are members of my family in a way that supersedes my relationship with my own children and I have not met one of these children. I realize that makes no sense but I know it doesn't have to. If you don't have a clue what I am talking about you are not an indigo.
That DOES NOT make us special. all that means is we have evolved first. Someone had to. Hell for all I know I may be the first as most of these people are a lot younger than I am but that doesn't matter because it isn't about me, it is about our species. Every person on this planet is going to evolve. If they don't in this life they will in one of their next ones. It appears the change is happening very rapidly so no one is going to going to have to wait very long but we need to conduct a lot more research into the phenomena.
There are more and more of these children being born and unfortunately not all of them are making a complete conversion. Such is the nature of adaptation in a species. The ones that emerge with amazing talents quickly get recognized and are handled properly as they expand their talents. The rest are seen as rebellious. They will not conform to their parents religious beliefs or social structure and those who are born to parents with means will seek treatment for their child in order to help him or her conform to the norm. That treatment almost always includes mind altering substances like Ritalin. Here is where I get both sides angry with me. Some of these children need help or their lives will become very difficult. Others, the worst thing you could do to them is give them mind altering drugs. Those of you who are not indigo simply do not know how to handle these children and there are not enough of us who are who are trained to do the job. I do not have the skills or training to work with these children but I and my fellow Indigos' can connect with them in ways non-indigo people cannot.
We need to work together until the day there are enough indigo's who have attained the skills needed to counsel these children that are evolving to the next stage. This evolution in our species is starting to happen and the transition period will be difficult, but we can make the process a lot easier by not tagging children as being one or the other and trying to force them to conform when they are genetically programmed to be different. The trick will be separating those who have mental conditions from those that don't but I believe we can do that if all those who find themselves raising a child who is struggling conforming to life keep an open mind.
Monday, May 23, 2011
My encounter with readers and update
It has been awhile since I reported. I now see Indigo light basically anytime I close my eyes. It varies in intensity and when it's the most intense I am getting information. It isn't in the form of words. The process is, I get it and then it is relayed from my subconscious mind to my conscious one. If I fail to understand I then think about the information and the indigo light intensifies until the information makes more sense to me then diminishes. Sounds crazy but I ain't making this stuff up.
A lot of this information is brand new to me and I verify what I can with web searches. The prime information I have been downloading is why we exist. I have just finished a set of symbols that outline the role of the universe and our part in it. Those of you who are mathematicians are going to be able to work with this. I have done a little and it all makes complete sense. I have an artist friend constructing it for me and hope to have it available soon.
I went to a meeting of psychics last week and found it very interesting. I plan on presenting my crude hand drawn form with the symbols for a reading and see what comes up. I am going to suggest to the one organizing the group (It is a large group) that all the readers need to at least touch my envelope and write a one or two word response.
I felt that all the readers at the meeting were sincere and they all possessed very creative minds. I got more energy from a few others attending the meeting then I did any of the readers but they may have the ability to block people like me so I can assume nothing at this point. My reader picked up on a very significant period of my life with detail and she had some interesting things to say about my past that could explain why I have been among the first to evolve but I have no recall of previous lives. I discount dreams as being a reliable source of anything.
As for New Age people. I learned very quickly I am not a new ager. I am an Indigo and will be putting together a blog about being Indigo and why we are here along with the entire message we are to bring to the world. I say we because i believe others will be getting the message which will be similar but not always identical. I don;t know how a person with no mathematical expertise would interpret the information I have been given. The message has been there since the Universe came into existence. Life forms have to evolve to a certain point to get the message. We have been getting a filtered message for centuries. Most of the filter is our own self indulgence. I will be going into this in detail in my blog on being Indigo.
A lot of this information is brand new to me and I verify what I can with web searches. The prime information I have been downloading is why we exist. I have just finished a set of symbols that outline the role of the universe and our part in it. Those of you who are mathematicians are going to be able to work with this. I have done a little and it all makes complete sense. I have an artist friend constructing it for me and hope to have it available soon.
I went to a meeting of psychics last week and found it very interesting. I plan on presenting my crude hand drawn form with the symbols for a reading and see what comes up. I am going to suggest to the one organizing the group (It is a large group) that all the readers need to at least touch my envelope and write a one or two word response.
I felt that all the readers at the meeting were sincere and they all possessed very creative minds. I got more energy from a few others attending the meeting then I did any of the readers but they may have the ability to block people like me so I can assume nothing at this point. My reader picked up on a very significant period of my life with detail and she had some interesting things to say about my past that could explain why I have been among the first to evolve but I have no recall of previous lives. I discount dreams as being a reliable source of anything.
As for New Age people. I learned very quickly I am not a new ager. I am an Indigo and will be putting together a blog about being Indigo and why we are here along with the entire message we are to bring to the world. I say we because i believe others will be getting the message which will be similar but not always identical. I don;t know how a person with no mathematical expertise would interpret the information I have been given. The message has been there since the Universe came into existence. Life forms have to evolve to a certain point to get the message. We have been getting a filtered message for centuries. Most of the filter is our own self indulgence. I will be going into this in detail in my blog on being Indigo.
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