I just spent the morning consulting with a Neural Ophthalmologist and I believe the pieces of the puzzle are taking shape. I did not discuss the spiritual aspect of the phenomena in order to avoid being misdiagnosed as a mental patient. It turns out I was overly concerned because trauma to the brain stem does result in hallucinations depending on where the ischemia lies. For those who don't know what ischemia is, it is the term that defines restricted blood flow which is basically the only form of trauma that can exist in the brain stem without causing major medical problems. Even then it cannot be a serious restriction.
In November of 2010 I underwent a balloon ablation of the right trigeminial nerve junction which is located in the brain stem. It involves running a needle into the brain stem and inflating a small balloon in order to compress the nerve bundle. Sounds terrible but it is a fairly common procedure that is done more frequently using a gamma knife. For whatever reason I chose the balloon ablation and it worked. It cured my trigeminial neuralgia which is one of the most painful afflictions a person can experience. I dealt with it for two years trying medications, meditation and acupuncture.
There was ischemia to the nerves that controls the eyes. That was made evident by the fact I had to start wearing prismatic lenses shortly after the surgery when I read or was writing as i would have double vision for up to an hour afterwards when I did. The muscles controlling my eyes weren't weakened but the neural pathway that relates the control of the muscles to the vision the eyes is processing was traumatized. They cannot totally corroborate this because they cannot do an MRI on me since I have a pacemaker due to the fact I damaged my heart nerves in a skiing accident years ago.
In order to understand what is happening to me I have to explain a little bit on how the brain stem functions. Our senses take two paths through the brain stem. Actually there are more than two but it is easier to explain if we look at them as just two. Our senses have two functions. The first is to communicate to the conscious mind so you can relate to the sounds, sight, touch, taste and smells around you and make conscious decisions from any event. The second is to coordinate all the things involved with responding to the information the conscious mind is getting, It's how you pick up your morning coffee and every other activity your body does, There is no conscious thought involved, They use different nerve paths to keep it all straight, No doubt any neurologist reading this is rolling their eyes but it is the easiest way I can explain it. The Neural Opthamologist knows which path is damaged because we don't think about controlling our eye muscles when we change our focal distance.
That explains my double vision. My sensitivity to indigo light is not as easily explained. The phenomena I am experiencing has happened in other people and I would absolutely love to talk to anyone who has experienced it. In cases like mine, they can only speculate This becomes another one of those things that science can't explain and I believe never will until they recognize there are energies in our universe they refuse to take a serious look at because of the religious and spiritual nature one has to consider to do so,
In my case it looks like all the damage was done to the visual nerves that work in conjunction with all our senses. The Doctor believes that because of the problem I have controlling my focus and the fact that I do not see hallucinations which is common in cases where the nerve bundle that ties to the visual cortex is affected. The human eyes perceive color in low light conditions due to a complicated process that involves both the rods and the cones but it is automatic. You can not think you will see pink and see it. but you can consciously focus on pink if it is present. All that changes if you are dreaming or taking drugs or alcohol.
Here is where the Doctors and I part ways. All the Doctors I have talked to simply refuse to believe what I see is spatial. By that I mean I can see it and turn away from it and not see it. They do not believe I am experiencing this because, in their mind, that is not possible. I have asked them to run experiments to prove it and none has taken the bait so until I can do my own research, or get someone in research interested, we are at a stalemate.
They have no explanation regarding why I see violet light, I believe that the ischemia to my integrated vision has sensitized my eyes to light in the near ultraviolet and violet range. I have conducted ny own experiments to verify this. One I posted to this blog. Birds see blue light which allows them to navigate so a unique color sensitivity is common in certain species.
I further believe that the energy that was once part of a physical human entity has a wavelength in the indigo range and my vision has awakened my spiritual component. Since my visual cortex has not responded to my spiritual awakening, I get no sense of being from spiritual awareness. I do not see ghosts nor do I communicate with spirits though I know others who have been spirituality awakened do. Because my two visual paths are disconnected from one another and I am only spiritually connected via my subconscious and integration bundle, I do not have to process the presence or awareness of spiritual or energy beings in my conscious mind.
Something akin to a miracle has happened as a result of only one of my nerve pathways being spiritually activated .The following hypothesis is a result of that injury. I believe the reason our spirits continue on and conjoin with a new physical body is to pass on ability and knowledge from one generation to the next. I call it mental evolution. Everything I am learning I am writing down in the blog I call Please Listen.
The above realization struck me as I was sitting in the Doctors office waiting for my eyes to dilate. It may be awhile before I make another post to this blog but I am working on some things which I plan to keep this blog up to date on. The visual chapter is now closed until I can start doing experiments to further understand this phenomena and all that it entails.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Onward and Upward
(originally posted 6/08/2011 had to correct history of post)
I just had a second visit with the Ophthalmologist and he is sending me to a Neural Ophthalmologist so no medical answers yet why I am experiencing indigo light/energy in my eyes. I am getting medical science involved whether they want to be or not. it will be at least a month before I can be seen .
In the meantime, I basically see indigo energy when I have my eyes lightly closed anytime. It can have direction and it can fill most of my visual field but it appears in circular form at its most intense. I do see other geometric shapes but I believe they are caused by the angle of the light source to the rods in my eyes. In all cases, I can turn away from the light source and the light is gone except when it appears to come from above my head.
If I start to think too much, I no longer see the light and when it is at it's most intense I basically cannot think at all and have established a behavioral response pattern in an effort to identify any source for the light.
On occasion I do see indigo light emanate from or around an electromagnetic device but days may pass between observations. All the writing I have done in my new blog, "Please Listen!", I attribute to the information I am getting that is encoded on the energy I am experiencing. If I am crazy then every college student out there needs to be crazy because I simply know things about subjects I have never studied in my life. Genetics is one of those subjects and a lot of the message I am getting is all about genetics in specific detail.
I am getting a lot of mathematical constructs and I do know math but suddenly realizing there are states to non congruency is something I have never been taught and it is beyond my math abilities to pursue. I hope those with advanced trainings in mathematics and physics take the time to mull over what I have written in the above blog.
Even if medical science finds a cause for my sensitivity to energy in the indigo range that does not explain the knowledge I am acquiring nor does it explain why I feel compelled to write it all down and get it out there. I admit this all could be a product of delusion and I am actively pursuing treatment just in case it all is but that still does not explain the knowledge I have gained.
If anyone can say the knowledge I am getting is false beyond any shadow of doubt please let me know because I have no such reservations. My goal is to reach those that have advanced training in all the fields I mention and hopefully get them to pay attention to the message. Ideally they will be indigo and they can figure out the parts specific to their knowledge and bring that knowledge to bear. I do not have the credentials to pursue most of it beyond mentioning it and how I came to be aware of it.
I do plan to administer to my fellow indigos who are still finding themselves but I do not have a license to practice medicine so all I can do is tell them what I am experiencing and, if possible, help them attune to the energy being directed at us specifically. The message is the same for every advanced life form in the universe. The method of delivery may vary. and it may not but we are attuned to our specific energy. We are indigos. We are the messengers.
I do have a question. Who do we have to talk to to get spellcheckers to list indigo as a noun so I can figure out a plural that doesn't get red lined? (right after I asked this my spellchecker stopped red lining the plurals). That I find spooky. I give up. Now the spellchecker is red lining the plurals.
I just had a second visit with the Ophthalmologist and he is sending me to a Neural Ophthalmologist so no medical answers yet why I am experiencing indigo light/energy in my eyes. I am getting medical science involved whether they want to be or not. it will be at least a month before I can be seen .
In the meantime, I basically see indigo energy when I have my eyes lightly closed anytime. It can have direction and it can fill most of my visual field but it appears in circular form at its most intense. I do see other geometric shapes but I believe they are caused by the angle of the light source to the rods in my eyes. In all cases, I can turn away from the light source and the light is gone except when it appears to come from above my head.
If I start to think too much, I no longer see the light and when it is at it's most intense I basically cannot think at all and have established a behavioral response pattern in an effort to identify any source for the light.
On occasion I do see indigo light emanate from or around an electromagnetic device but days may pass between observations. All the writing I have done in my new blog, "Please Listen!", I attribute to the information I am getting that is encoded on the energy I am experiencing. If I am crazy then every college student out there needs to be crazy because I simply know things about subjects I have never studied in my life. Genetics is one of those subjects and a lot of the message I am getting is all about genetics in specific detail.
I am getting a lot of mathematical constructs and I do know math but suddenly realizing there are states to non congruency is something I have never been taught and it is beyond my math abilities to pursue. I hope those with advanced trainings in mathematics and physics take the time to mull over what I have written in the above blog.
Even if medical science finds a cause for my sensitivity to energy in the indigo range that does not explain the knowledge I am acquiring nor does it explain why I feel compelled to write it all down and get it out there. I admit this all could be a product of delusion and I am actively pursuing treatment just in case it all is but that still does not explain the knowledge I have gained.
If anyone can say the knowledge I am getting is false beyond any shadow of doubt please let me know because I have no such reservations. My goal is to reach those that have advanced training in all the fields I mention and hopefully get them to pay attention to the message. Ideally they will be indigo and they can figure out the parts specific to their knowledge and bring that knowledge to bear. I do not have the credentials to pursue most of it beyond mentioning it and how I came to be aware of it.
I do plan to administer to my fellow indigos who are still finding themselves but I do not have a license to practice medicine so all I can do is tell them what I am experiencing and, if possible, help them attune to the energy being directed at us specifically. The message is the same for every advanced life form in the universe. The method of delivery may vary. and it may not but we are attuned to our specific energy. We are indigos. We are the messengers.
I do have a question. Who do we have to talk to to get spellcheckers to list indigo as a noun so I can figure out a plural that doesn't get red lined? (right after I asked this my spellchecker stopped red lining the plurals). That I find spooky. I give up. Now the spellchecker is red lining the plurals.
I am an Indigo
(Originally posted 05/27/2011 had to correct history of post)
This has been quite a week. Yesterday I had my eye appointment and the Ophthalmologist believes I am experiencing electrical energy phenomena in my visual field. I couldn't agree more but we part ways on the source of this energy I am experiencing. He simply doesn't believe what I am seeing is external to my body. He did not come out and directly say so but I could tell he was not willing to consider anything external as a possibility even after I described how the phenomena I am experiencing is usual spatial in nature. It does not track with my eyes. There is a source I turn away from and turn back to. When the majority of my visual field is impacted that becomes difficult to do but there are events where what I see only involves 15-20% of my visual field. We shall see (no pun intended) as his diagnosis continues. He had me undergo blood tests and I have a follow on appointment on the 6th of June.
The big discovery of the week was a result of my research into reincarnation. I was looking for incidents of past life recall among children that are considered to be normal whatever that is and came across information regarding indigo children. Believe it or not this is the first time in my life I had heard about children whose parents believed were possessed of special abilities. I have spent the last three days getting my hands on information and watching many video clips that claim the child featured is an indigo or crystalline child.
What I have seen convinces me there is a real phenomena at play here. Some are very spiritual in nature. I say that as a Deist and, for the moment, I am still one. There is something else I am. I am an indigo. The story of these children is the story of my life. There is also a connection I instantly make I have no obvious explanation for. The children that are indigo are members of my family in a way that supersedes my relationship with my own children and I have not met one of these children. I realize that makes no sense but I know it doesn't have to. If you don't have a clue what I am talking about you are not an indigo.
That DOES NOT make us special. all that means is we have evolved first. Someone had to. Hell for all I know I may be the first as most of these people are a lot younger than I am but that doesn't matter because it isn't about me, it is about our species. Every person on this planet is going to evolve. If they don't in this life they will in one of their next ones. It appears the change is happening very rapidly so no one is going to going to have to wait very long but we need to conduct a lot more research into the phenomena.
There are more and more of these children being born and unfortunately not all of them are making a complete conversion. Such is the nature of adaptation in a species. The ones that emerge with amazing talents quickly get recognized and are handled properly as they expand their talents. The rest are seen as rebellious. They will not conform to their parents religious beliefs or social structure and those who are born to parents with means will seek treatment for their child in order to help him or her conform to the norm. That treatment almost always includes mind altering substances like Ritalin. Here is where I get both sides angry with me. Some of these children need help or their lives will become very difficult. Others, the worst thing you could do to them is give them mind altering drugs. Those of you who are not indigo simply do not know how to handle these children and there are not enough of us who are who are trained to do the job. I do not have the skills or training to work with these children but I and my fellow Indigos' can connect with them in ways non-indigo people cannot.
We need to work together until the day there are enough indigo's who have attained the skills needed to counsel these children that are evolving to the next stage. This evolution in our species is starting to happen and the transition period will be difficult, but we can make the process a lot easier by not tagging children as being one or the other and trying to force them to conform when they are genetically programmed to be different. The trick will be separating those who have mental conditions from those that don't but I believe we can do that if all those who find themselves raising a child who is struggling conforming to life keep an open mind.
This has been quite a week. Yesterday I had my eye appointment and the Ophthalmologist believes I am experiencing electrical energy phenomena in my visual field. I couldn't agree more but we part ways on the source of this energy I am experiencing. He simply doesn't believe what I am seeing is external to my body. He did not come out and directly say so but I could tell he was not willing to consider anything external as a possibility even after I described how the phenomena I am experiencing is usual spatial in nature. It does not track with my eyes. There is a source I turn away from and turn back to. When the majority of my visual field is impacted that becomes difficult to do but there are events where what I see only involves 15-20% of my visual field. We shall see (no pun intended) as his diagnosis continues. He had me undergo blood tests and I have a follow on appointment on the 6th of June.
The big discovery of the week was a result of my research into reincarnation. I was looking for incidents of past life recall among children that are considered to be normal whatever that is and came across information regarding indigo children. Believe it or not this is the first time in my life I had heard about children whose parents believed were possessed of special abilities. I have spent the last three days getting my hands on information and watching many video clips that claim the child featured is an indigo or crystalline child.
What I have seen convinces me there is a real phenomena at play here. Some are very spiritual in nature. I say that as a Deist and, for the moment, I am still one. There is something else I am. I am an indigo. The story of these children is the story of my life. There is also a connection I instantly make I have no obvious explanation for. The children that are indigo are members of my family in a way that supersedes my relationship with my own children and I have not met one of these children. I realize that makes no sense but I know it doesn't have to. If you don't have a clue what I am talking about you are not an indigo.
That DOES NOT make us special. all that means is we have evolved first. Someone had to. Hell for all I know I may be the first as most of these people are a lot younger than I am but that doesn't matter because it isn't about me, it is about our species. Every person on this planet is going to evolve. If they don't in this life they will in one of their next ones. It appears the change is happening very rapidly so no one is going to going to have to wait very long but we need to conduct a lot more research into the phenomena.
There are more and more of these children being born and unfortunately not all of them are making a complete conversion. Such is the nature of adaptation in a species. The ones that emerge with amazing talents quickly get recognized and are handled properly as they expand their talents. The rest are seen as rebellious. They will not conform to their parents religious beliefs or social structure and those who are born to parents with means will seek treatment for their child in order to help him or her conform to the norm. That treatment almost always includes mind altering substances like Ritalin. Here is where I get both sides angry with me. Some of these children need help or their lives will become very difficult. Others, the worst thing you could do to them is give them mind altering drugs. Those of you who are not indigo simply do not know how to handle these children and there are not enough of us who are who are trained to do the job. I do not have the skills or training to work with these children but I and my fellow Indigos' can connect with them in ways non-indigo people cannot.
We need to work together until the day there are enough indigo's who have attained the skills needed to counsel these children that are evolving to the next stage. This evolution in our species is starting to happen and the transition period will be difficult, but we can make the process a lot easier by not tagging children as being one or the other and trying to force them to conform when they are genetically programmed to be different. The trick will be separating those who have mental conditions from those that don't but I believe we can do that if all those who find themselves raising a child who is struggling conforming to life keep an open mind.
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